cosmo tip #365
expertcosmotips: if he ain’t the size of a pringle can, he ain’t big enough to be your man
rebuilt-and-remanufactured: do you have a friend who’s usually a sweetheart but when they’re angry they’re the creepiest and the most cruel motherfucker you ever saw in your whole life I am that friend. yea thats me.
livin-la-vida-lokiii: so there i was walking home when something caught my attention across the road hmm what is that hold on is that… no it cant be nope NOPE
How do you make holy water?
Take ordinary water and boil the hell out of it. This is the best joke.
call-the-vendor-big-suspenders: actuallybatman: I just read a bunch of accounts from people who were unconscious, in comas or medically dead and came back to consciousness and a lot of them said that while they were down, they lived an entirely different reality LIKE IN THE FEW MOMENTS THIS MAN WAS UNCONSCIOUS, HE LIVED 10 YEARS OF A LIFE WHERE HE GOT MARRIED AND HAD A FAMILY AND HE THOUGHT IT...
“I have more respect for myself than that. Females. Fuck you.” - Cody.